Remembering the Importance of Connections

As many of us leave our holiday family reunions for another season (I’m flying home from ours as I write), it’s a good time to reflect on the importance of our "work family."  While sites liked LinkedIn do a great job of getting many of us back in touch with colleagues from around the Country and help us see the wide range of our work/social networks, they really aren’t a substitute for the real, interpersonal connections that build and nurture us in our working lives.

Researchers have long known the importance of social networks in professional and personal development.  Social networking websites, though a wonderful source of contact information, can’t provide the interaction, mentoring, problem solving, and perspective taking that are so necessary for growth and intellectual development.  Particularly in this economy, where companies can offer fewer training and development opportunities, interaction with and mentorship from other professionals are paramount.

I’m concerned that the moments many of us spend on social networking sites (I’ll admit to too much time on Facebook largely due to my Scramble addiction), may take away from the real interaction with others that is so necessary to develop worthwhile social networks that go beyond linked nodes on a network diagram.   In fact, even email, while a time saving (or some might argue a time sucking) advance, can take away from meaningful social interaction. Online connection can never effectively replace real life, face-to-face conversation.

Many years ago, my mentor, an incredible marketing professional named Dale McMichael, told me, “One must look after one’s friends.” And, Dale did.  Most times, when he flew through Seattle, he intentionally carved out time with me to find out how my business was doing and to teach me something new.  He once spent two days working with my team and me to figure out a plan for growing our business – I can say without a doubt, I’m doing what I do today because Dale believed in me and took the time to make our interaction meaningful.  He was a real mentor and a real friend. And, I know our relationship would not have been so valuable over email or social networking sites.  Dale gave me the gift of time – sharing his knowledge and his network, and being a ready ear for new ideas and difficult questions.  While Dale has been gone for many years, there isn’t a month that goes by that I don’t think of him in gratitude for what he taught me and the time he gave me in the busiest time of his own career.

So, in this New Year, I advocate for all of us to make a resolution to use our newly found linked networks to interact on a more meaningful, personal level.  Pick up the phone to connect with a colleague, help a younger employee build their skills by sharing your knowledge, and in the Northwest tradition, sit down for coffee to talk about work issues, needs, and concerns.  And, let’s share our networks with each other to find projects, learn more about the work we do, and help those who are not working find work.  The renewed connections we have as a result of social networking sites can be powerful and valuable, but only if we use them to really foster authentic connection and interaction.

For those of us lucky enough to be in supervisory positions, let’s share our networks with our protégé’s – take them along on client calls, talk about what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, ask their advice and counsel on important issues and project requirements, and introduce them to a broader network of professionals who can provide different perspectives and opportunities.  I know that this kind of mentoring isn’t something we can do online.  It takes time to have the intellectual and social discourse necessary for growth and development.  We all need to take the time to encourage questions, provide information, and be actively engaged in communicating with our teams.

This year, I’m making some resolutions: I’ll be writing more, talking more, interacting more, and spending more time communicating meaningfully. This doesn’t mean that my colleagues and friends won’t get the occasional 3am email, but it does mean that I hope to spend more time over coffee talking and less time holding conversations by email, LinkedIn, or Facebook.  I know this is going to be hard, particularly for those of us who spend more time sitting on an airplane than we do sitting at our desks. But, I have to believe that the payoff will be worthwhile by way of stronger networks, better relationships, and more connected team members.

I’m not advocating unplugging; I’m simply advocating a new kind of being plugged in. We can use social networking to get back in touch AND simultaneously focus on bringing back old-fashioned conversation to make those connections mean something.